Saturday, April 16, 2011
Every time I hear a pregnancy announcement, I still get bit by a tinge of jealousy. Note: I have ABSOLUTELY NO desire to be pregnant right now (funny how having a baby who still doesn't sleep through the night will do that to you!)...And I HONESTLY don't think I ever will again. Every time I look at how perfect Jadon is for us, and then think of how many other Jadons there are out there needing to be adopted, my heart grows overwhelmed with longeing to expand our family in that way. Seriously, I dream of the day when we'll be ready to accept that next call that comes (we've already had 2 more opportunities that were difficult to turn down). In my dreams, we soon get a little boy only a few months younger than Jadon, so he can have a close brother, and I can have the twins I always wanted--without suffering through the crazy infant stage! Maybe this little guy might even come from Haiti or Africa or something...And then a few years later, we get a baby girl, maybe from Jadon's birth mom...These are my dreams...but you never know. But obviously, there's no room for me to get pregnant here, and when I hear the horror birth stories of my friends, I REALLY have no problem with that...But still, there's that tinge of jealousy. It must be that maternal instinct. I wish I could shut it off.