Celebrating...Jadon!

Jadon turned 3 on Saturday, June 8. Three years before, we had no clue that he even existed. But when we met him 16 days later, it was love at first sight, and we couldn't imagine life without him. We named him Jadon because he is our proof that "God has heard" all of our prayers. He is the perfect kid for us and we are SO grateful for the past three years that we have had with him...and God-willing, we look forward to many, many more!

Jadon's birthday kicked off a week of fun in his honor.
Actually, the fun started the day before on his last day being 2. Wrestling with the decision of whether or not to go back to work next year, I decided to make it a "good mom day"--which is what I call days when I put aside my never-ending to-do lists and multi-tasking attempts and focus all my attention on Jadon and whatever he wants to do. (Sad to say, I don't have nearly enough of these. :( )
So, when Jadon discovered an old can of purple paint (it used to be indigo blue)...and started body painting himself...my gut reaction was to stop him, until I realized that the only harm being done was either washable or in an area of our side yard that never sees anyone anyway. And so the painting continued. By the end he was a ridiculous mess...and a very happy boy! AND, this paint fun captivated him for nearly an hour! (Unless he's watching a favorite movie, Jadon's attention span NEVER lasts longer than maybe 15 minutes.) (If only I could discover more activities like this...that don't make quite as big of a mess! Too bad regular painting doesn't cut it.)

 

 Besides old bikes/basketball hoops/concrete, the only real casualty of this fun was a pair of hand-me-down underwear (don't judge--they were bleached clean, and are perfect for this potty training stage!) :)

 ...and his hair. Apparently, while latex paint washes beautifully off of skin, it doesn't come out of kinky hair so well. But  as much as I loved his beautiful curls, we were already planning on giving him a summer haircut, so this was the perfect excuse for all of our friends who begged us not to :).

The next morning, Jadon woke up to a bunch of balloons (be-yoons!!!) and a couple of small gifts, and then we made his favorite breakfast, waffles.

And then came the gift he had been longing/asking/begging/praying for for the past few months: Legoland tickets! And not just for one day...but for the whole year!

We finally broke down an splurged on the annual Merlin pass, which includes admission not only to Legoland but also SeaLife Aquarium and the WaterPark...and the best part ever, free parking! (At $15 a pop, that part is worth its weight in gold!) Usually the passes are $179/person (I know, ouch!), but military personnel are allowed to buy passes (for friends and family, too) for $137. Woohoo! Obviously, they still aren't giving them away, but I'll take the $40/person savings!
Our friend Kristen decided to renew her pass that day so she and Molly could celebrate with us (her husband George was in the field), and she had 2 guest passes that were going to expire that day, so we invited Jon (Lindsey had to take her sister to the airport) and daughter Emma...so we ended up having a little party together.
Jadon didn't really care about the rides (being a Saturday, the lines were too long!), and just wanted to spend all his time at the dinosaur dig sand pit, the splash pads, and the parks.

Then we stopped for lunch (he got french fries and soda, his favorites), and we had cake balls with his friends (I wasn't going to do a cake, but decided to do cake balls at the last minute, just for fun).

 We ended the day discovering a whole new splash pad with its own mini water park on our way out--and almost never made it out as Jadon discovered a whole new second wind. After Jim retrieved him without getting completely soaked, we promised him to come back soon (since we have passes now!), and Jadon conked out before we even made it through the exit.  

Unfortunately, he woke up as soon as we made it to the car, and remained awake throughout the rest of the day, including another birthday dinner for a friend...at a nice-ish restaurant. That was exciting. (Thank goodness for Curious George episodes on YouTube...and Jim's phone that is finally cool enough to make use of such luxuries!)

As if that wasn't enough excitement, the next day after church, we headed to our county fair--the big Del Mar Fair--with a bunch of families from our small group. Jadon had a ton of fun on the kiddie rides (he seemed to gravitate toward the fun-house type attractions and "scarier" rides than his friends...), and then he conked out while we ate dinner and started going through the Expo (while Jim "generously" offered to hang out with him in front of the jumbotron screen broadcasting the NBA game). We pigged out on cotton candy and kettle corn and corn dogs, but refrained from buying thousand-dollar cookware sets (it was so awesome, though!) and frivolous manicure sets. We had a ton of fun with friends, and left exhausted but happy.

And then, as if that wasn't enough excitement, this last week we spent gearing up for Jadon's birthday party this weekend. I'll do a whole blog post on it when I get the good pictures from our friend who photographed the dat, but I'll just say, I had so.much.fun planning it, and I think Jadon had just as much fun enjoying it. We decided on a construction theme in honor of Jadon's affinity to all things tools/tractors/destruction :), and I'll just end with one picture from the entrance to the party:

Solidarity with the Poor

Today marked the end of a 40-day journey Jim and I went on "in solidarity with the poor." At the same conference that Jim got the Decisive book, he also picked up a book called A Place at the Table by Chris Seay.

The book is more of a guide on this 40 day journey, with daily readings designed to help you explore the deeper issues behind our indulgence and to pray for those with less.

When Jim presented me with the idea that we go on this 40-day fast back at the end of April, I'll admit, I was in a bad mood. I didn't want to fast, especially as our 2-month celebration season was about to begin. But how could I say, no thanks, I don't really care that much about the poor. I'd rather feed my fat face!? So at Jim's encouragement, I read the introductory chapters, and God softened my heart.

This book doesn't encourage a complete 40-day fast (whew!), but rather a fast from indulgences, similar to what a kid in a third world country might eat. So we decided to imitate a diet similar to our Compassion and World Vision kids who live in different areas of Africa and Mexico. That left us with rice, beans, and (thank goodness for Mexico!) tortillas, along with basic fruits and vegetables. We intentionally eliminated meats and sweets, and I cut out any unnecessary and unplanned spending. (Only went to Walmart twice during this time to help me avoid temptation!) However, the fast also included feast days on Sundays (woohoo!), which frequently coincided with our celebrations. Even when they didn't, however, the fast was designed to be a beneficial tool, not a legalistic hindrance, and so we decided to allow for deviations when we were hanging out with others or celebrating something special.

All in all, it was a great experience. Toward the end, especially, we had a lot of cheating deviations, and to be honest, we only made it to day 20 of the readings (the readings were good but didn't particularly inspire us, perhaps in large part because we read them together before bed, and with our hectic schedule, it was often all we could do to keep our eyelids open).
Yesterday was day 40, so today we were free, but we decided to do it again after all our celebrations and vacations are over in August, but only a week at a time. We will finish the readings! :) For dinner, we celebrated with BBQ chicken and our first al fresco dining of the year.

As hard as the rice and beans diet got by the end, it was a great exercise in self discipline and tempering our desires, and it made me far more thoughtful of the plight of starving kids around the world, which is a key theme of our next movie, Prom Dare. It was also a great thing to do together with Jim, and it got us back in the habit of praying together every night (hopefully, that habit will continue to stick!).

Decisive

I would NEVER use the word "decisive" to describe myself. "Indecisive" hits the nail squarely on the head. But I have come out of my little 3-day Valley of Decision quite well, thanks to this book that Jim's mom recommended to me called (ha!) Decisive, by Chip and Dan Heath.

Jim and his dad both got it at the Catalyst conference they attended in April, and it has been sitting on our bookshelf unread and unnoticed until Jim's mom suggested that it was amazing and it my help with my decision of "to teach or not to teach." Seeing as how Saturday was Jadon's birthday and Sunday we went to the fair with our small group after church, I didn't have much time to read an entire book (I haven't found time for that for over a year!), but at her suggestion, I skimmed it until I found a section that seemed especially interesting, and then--wonder of wonders!--my Mr. Sleepless actually slept in until almost 9 am on Sunday, which gave me time to actually read said section. (A full day at Legoland with only a 5 minute nap may have contributed a little to this little miracle, but such exhausting days rarely phase my little guy, so I think this was definitely God showering favor on me!)
In the book, the Heath brothers use the acronym WRAP to guide you in a better decision-making process than simply listing pros and cons.

W= Widen your Options

R= Reality-Test Your Assumptions

A= Attain Distance Before Deciding

P= Prepare to Be Wrong

The principles covered in the A section grabbed my attention, so I skipped to those chapters...and they were great! SO helpful!

10-10-10: Ask yourself how you would feel after making a certain choice in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. I easily acknowledged that if I decided to accept the job, in 10 minutes I would feel stressed and overwhelmed. (In fact, just thinking about taking it almost ruined my summer as I became overwhelmed with everything I would need to do!) 10 months from now (right around Spring Break), I would likely feel exhausted, stressed, discouraged, bummed out at all I was missing, feel like I was failing as a wife and mother, and straining just to survive until the looming finish line. Of course, I would probably be driving a new car, which would be great, but in light of all the other negative feelings, it didn't even seem that wonderful. 10 years from now, I figured, I'd probably long be over this year...unless of course I made some major mistakes that ultimately scarred Jadon or my marriage. Then I would still be regretting the decision.

On the flip side, I quickly surmised that the instant I said "no" to the job, I would probably feel an immense sense of relief, and a renewed joy for all the plans and adventures I had for this summer and this next year. In 10 months, I will probably still be driving my old car--and probably complaining about it some--but I love my current life and I'm sure I will continue to love it throughout this next year. I am excited about Jadon being in preschool 2 mornings a week, freeing up just a couple of hours for me to get "stuff" done--including some Pinterest-y type projects. I am excited about making the most of our new Legoland passes and renewed zoo passes, and using them with friends. I am excited about hanging out with Jim's sister and our nieces more, now that they moved down to San Clemente. I am excited about joining Bible Study Fellowship on Wednesday mornings, and Jadon getting to be a part of the amazing kids' program. I am excited about some changes to my role in ministry, including a few potential major shifts. I am hoping that God will open up a door with our next movie (Prom Dare) and my role with that...Bottom line, I have a TON of stuff I am excited about for this next year--and a full-time job wouldn't fit with any of it! And finally, in 10 years, I am pretty sure I will have a new car by then (which will still be somewhat new if I have to wait longer to get it, ha!), and various house projects will probably be accomplished (just on a slower time table as we save money gradually). And I know I will have zero regrets about not taking the job.

SOOOOO, the 10-10-10 principle definitely pointed me in the direction of not taking the job.

But I kept on reading, and was struck by the next principle:

What would you tell your best friend to do:

This was easy. If any of my closest friends came to me with the question of whether or not to take the job, I would be supportive and see the value of either decision, but I would advise them that the job wasn't worth it. Their kids would only be young once, and they have many years ahead of them to work full time. Even though this job was easy, they would be more than capable of getting another job later, when the time was better.

Hm! What a concept! And as I thought about it, I realized that in the midst of all the advice I was getting, this was exactly what my closest friends were telling me. My decision was getting clearer...

And then Jadon kept sleeping, so I kept reading, and LOVED the next principle:

Honor your core priorities:

Oh man! Of course! So, one of my core priorities in life is to stay out of debt, and this job would definitely help me do that. But....I could also honor that priority without taking the job--by simply being content with what I already have, including my 16-year-old car. As long as it's running, I can live with it while we save up again for my new one. And, worst case scenario, it breaks down, I can get a small car loan that I can pay off quickly. And knowing how God works, I wouldn't be surprised if he keeps my car running long past when it should, just to keep teaching me about contentment!

AND...even more important than my priority to stay out of debt is my priority to be the best wife and mother that I can be (which is second only to being the best child of God that I can be...and even that order sometimes gets skewed!). And taking this job would definitely NOT help me do that. No matter how hard I tried, I would be making sacrifices of Jim and Jadon. And that is not worth it to me.

At about this point, Jadon woke up, and since then, I have only managed to skim a few more chapters of the book--which have only served to back up these three deciding principles.

SOOOO, this morning (after working my last sub job of the year!) I called the district office and declined the job. Fortunately, it was a voice mail, so I didn't even have to explain my reasons to a person. After hanging up, I felt light and relieved, and Jim, Jadon, and I went out and did yard work together. 

For the first time in my life, I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom by choice (up until now it was "forced" upon my by way of lay-off). And I am thrilled. I have a great life, and I am content just the way it is for now! I look forward to seeing what adventures God brings my way this year, and I am excited that I will be free enough to able to jump into them with reckless abandon!

Valley of Decision

I have wanted to be (and planned on being) a stay-at-home mom for as long as I can remember. But I've also always wanted to be a teacher (when my sister was like 4 or 5 and I was 9 or 10 I used to type up math worksheets for her to do and loved grading them with a red pen! No wonder she ended up being Valedictorian!)
So I have often told people that getting laid off 3 years ago--after 11 years of teaching!-- 2 weeks before we got Jadon was such a blessing from God, because He knew how hard it would've been for me to actually give up my job.
For the past three years I have been fortunate to get to stay home with Jadon. Money has been tight, but we have done great, and I wouldn't trade it for anything...
And then I got a phone call yesterday...
Just as the time I'm on the lay-off call-back list expires, I got offered a temporary contract to teach English at El Camino High School next year. ECHS isn't my original school, but it's the one right down the street from our church and the one most of our students go to.
In the past 24 hours, Jim and I have adamantly decided both ways were the way to go. And our loved ones have agreed wholeheartedly--on both sides. I am SO torn!
On the one hand, the part of me that's a teacher has been awakened and is being pulled back into that roll. And the ministry opportunities are great. And not to mention how nice the paycheck would be! (This past year we invested my car fund in our next movie Prom Dare...which took a turn for the worst and is now lost until God sees fit to open some new doors...And my 16 year old, 200K+mi. Saturn is definitely showing it's age...)
On the other hand, I only have 2 years left with Jadon before he starts school, and I know they're going to fly by. (Just went to our first of many yearly graduations last night, and I remember when this girl was in elementary school. How is she grown up now?!!) And I know I, personally, will not be as good of a mom if I'm pouring my life into 200 other teenagers each day.
There are a ton of other factors that weigh into this decision (like, if I turn this job down, I am permanently off of the call back list and I lose all of my accrued sick time...And my mom would love to stay down here and watch Jadon--and she is WAY better than me at engaging preschool-aged kids at imaginative and educational play, and Jadon loves her and would have a ball hanging out at my parents place each day...And Jadon was going to start preschool 2 days a week this year anyways...But I was going to start BSF this year, and we just invested in Legoland and zoo passes...And...)
I can't tell you how many times I've made up my mind today...only to change it a minute later.

I have to decide by Monday...We shall see...

Sleepless In...Oceanside

Okay, I don't know what's up with my kiddo, but he DEFINITELY isn't sleeping as much as {I think} he should! He has never been a great sleeper, but had arrived at the point of sleeping about 11 hours at night (from 9pm to 8am) and almost 2 hour nap each day. During what must have been a growth spurt (judging by the enormous intake of food and the shortening of his jeans!) that got even better.
But that growth spurt is definitely over!
Now, he barely eats...and his sleeping is even less. We're talking *maybe* asleep by 10pm, and up by 6 (I need more sleep than that at night, so i can't win!) and then *maybe* a 1 1/2 hour nap if I'm lucky. So. Not. Cool. Then, about once a week (totally unpredictably...and, may I add at the most inconvenient times!) he gets a mini reset and naps for closer to three hours. And then we're back to the squeeze-every-second-out-of-every-day routine. Ugh, crazy kid!
I'm sure this is just a phase, but we are already in week 6 of the phase, and I'm really over it.
Is this normal?

(before the lack-of-sleep bug hit...

btw, his blue lips are from the lollipop he got for going poopoo in the potty :))

"Somebody's moving closer!"

For the past month, Jadon has been excitedly declaring "Somebody's moving closer!" frequently at random times throughout the day. He has been so excited for his cousin Kylie (and cousin Evie, and Uncle Matt and Aunt Becky) to move from Torrance down to San Clemente. This relocation shortens the distance between us from nearly 2 hours to less than 45 minutes, and we are all looking forward hanging out with them more!

Moving day was Tuesday, June 4, so to help out a bit, we took the girls while the movers moved everything into their new house. The cousins had tons of fun playing in the water and on the trampoline and at the park. Jim came home from work early, and then after dinner, we all went to youth group at church before taking the girls back to their house.

Now, Jadon keeps saying "Somebody's moving closer!" but I think it's his way of saying "Somebody moved closer and I can't wait to see her again!"

11

June 1st marked our 11th wedding anniversary. But thanks to ministry scheduling, that significant day coincided with our Senior Weekend at church, where our graduating seniors run the adult services with worship, drama, testimonies, and sermons. All 4 services are different, with different speakers, and as usual, this year was great. In fact, I think this was one of our best years yet. We've had a few solid graduating classes, but this one I think is our largest solid class. One small evidence of that is the sheer number of students actually moving on to a 4-year university. Usually, most end up at our local community colleges, but this year close to 75% of the students involved in the service are moving away to college. That's pretty impressive here in Oceanside. And most of them are doing pretty well spiritually. The crazy thing is that 18 months ago, we weren't sure who would be here. It's all testimony to the amazing life change God can do in a short period of time.

Anyways, after all was said and done on Sunday, Jadon went down for his nap, my mom came over to watch him, and we loaded up the Jeep for our traditional outing to the drive-in theater down in Imperial Beach (right across from the Mexican border). We got there around 4, early enough to check into our budget Days Inn and watch a couple episodes of Law & Order before heading to Pizza Hut for our customary dinner and Jack In The Box for our necessary Oreo Shakes (which was our first "unofficial" date over 16 years ago).

 Then we thoroughly enjoyed watching Now You See Me and Iron Man 3

(actually, Jim slept through that one entirely but it was to be expected with the busy weekend he'd had!)...and then we drove across the street to our little hotel and got to sleep in until 8:30 (!!!) (Luxury when you have a toddler!) and eat our little free continental breakfast, and then we checked out and headed to a Starbucks and worked on our Prom Dare movie script for five hours before heading home to Jadon. (So far we have no real promising leads for movie funding, but we figure we want to do everything in our power to be ready for success to enable God to do everything in his power to grant us success.)

It was a wonderfully refreshing little budget get away, and a perfect snapshot of the things we're enjoying in our life right now.