It's Official!

Just received a wonderful email today: After being lost in the shuffle for months, our foster-parent file has finally been cleared, which means we are open for business and are simply waiting to get matched with a child. Woo hoo! We are certified foster adoptive parents in waiting...and we are so excited!!!

In other official news, according to my post-op appointment with my doc, my surgery was a complete waste of time. She found nothing of concern. Not even a polyp. Well, maybe a polyp. She's not sure. (I think it was her way of making me feel better.) Everything looked great, she told me encouragingly.

The only problem is, I'm still getting the exorbitant hospital bill. For nothing. Great.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. She did actually find some scar tissue around my appendix that she removed. Check out the pictures...

This is what my appendix looked like when she first went in:

This is what it looked like post removal of scar tissue:

(Oh yeah, all that yellow stuff is fat. She said it was normal, but I'm thinking it looks pretty disgsting, like my poor little appendix is getting swallowed up!)

Apparently, the scar tissue wasn't necessarily causing any problems, but it's not a bad idea to get rid of it. I guess I might as well get my money's worth from the stupid procedure! I asked her what the scar tissue was from. She suggested that I may have had a minor case of appendicitis at one time, and that the scarring was from my body healing it on its own. Weird though, because I can't recall ever having and serious pain on my right side.

Of course, then Wednesday morning, I woke up at 4:30 am with a sharp pain in my right side, and I just knew my body was getting revenge. Maybe it liked the scar tissue! When I went to school with it still throbbing, I checked online for symptoms of appendicitis, but they didn't match up. I checked a few other things, too, but couldn't figure it out. The pain continued through the day just as sharp, but I didn't want to call the doctor, because I'm pretty skeptical of them right now. I took an ibuprofen before bed and woke up Thursday with the pain a little less. Did the same thing Thursday night and woke up today with the pain even less. But it's still there. My dad says I should call the doctor. But if it keeps getting less, I don't want to waste my time or money. But I still wonder what it was. I bet if we took some pictures today, the scar tissue would all be back.

To Laparoscopy or Not To Laparascopy? That is the Question...

So, I just got home from my doctor's appointment--my final attempt to get a second (actually fourth) opinion on our "unexplained" infertility. So that insurance would cover the visit, I did it under the guise of seeking help for another annoying-but-not-serious symptom I've been having that falls in the spectrum of non-fertility-related women's issues (but which I believe could be contributing to not getting pregnant even though three other doctors have said it's nothing to worry about). Well, FINALLY somebody has an explanation that may make sense! Woo hoo! If only the treatment options were as simple...
Since I realize that mixed company may read this, I'll keep the details to a minimum, but here is my new dilemma:

This wonderful new doctor took my descriptions of my symptoms along with what the other doctors tried and said and...she guesses that I may have one of two possible problems:
1--I may have something like polyps in my uterus.
2--I may have a form of endometriosis. This second one shocked me, since I have none of the normal symptoms associated with it (i.e. cramping, discomfort, etc...), but she said she has found other patients with no symptoms at all, and my mild/annoying one is consistent with endometriosis.

And here is the fun part:
The way to identify for sure if either of these is the problem, as well as then the way to treat either of these, is to do a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy. This is a surgical procedure where I will be knocked out, my abodmen inflated, my internal organs moved around, several tools inserted through incisions around my belly button, and then if they find anything (i.e. polyps or endometrial tissue) they will burn and/or scrape them away.

Doesn't that sound lovely?!

So now I find myself in the valley of decision.

My initial reaction is no way! That sounds horrible! The brief research I just did online has not calmed my fears in any way. And it isn't cheap. While they'll have to check with my insurance if I decide to proceed to get the actual price, it looks like it can range from several hundred dollars to one or two thousand dollars! From the beginning of this journey, Jim and I have decided that there are plenty of kiddos out there already born who need a family, and we don't feel comfortable spending a lot of money just so we can have one of our "own".

But...

If I don't do it, will I wonder for the rest of my life if this one procedure could have allowed me to experience pregnancy and childbirth--something I really do think I long for? Yep, for sure. Not to mention, that it should alleviate the "annoying" symptom I mentioned earlier.

But...

We're so close to being done with the adoption process. I anticipate that we'll be ready to go by late April, and we're really hoping/praying that we'll be matched with a kid by the end of summer. So, if this procedure worked, that would be just around the time I might be able to get preggo. But I would really love to be able to enjoy my first baby and my first pregnancy one at a time. I'm pretty sure double duty would stress me out and I'd miss out on a lot of the memories I've looked forward to so long...So, should we postpone the adoption matching process? Or postpone the laparoscopy procedure? Or...?

And, this still might not do anything...So, then, is it worth it?

Urg! While I wage this internal debate, I'm going to go prune my roses and enjoy this glorious day God has given me. Working outside tends to calm my mind and give me clarity. Let's hope it works today!

And meanwhile I ask you, what would you do if you were in my shoes? Help!