Wednesday, February 3, 2010

in awe

Well, yet another friend I've been praying for shared the news that she's pregnant this morning. And while I'm absolutely thrilled for her to finally be starting this much-longed-for journey, the news hit me like a sock to the stomach and I've crumbled. The ironic thing is that I've been doing really well with this infertility thing the past month or so. Just a few days ago, I was marveling at the possibility that maybe I've FINALLY surrendered my pregnancy plans over to God. I even reached a point where I realized that I'm so excited about adopting, that getting pregnant now would kind of mess all that up...And then I heard my friend's wonderful news...and all my resolve melted like chocolate in the sun. And I've been a big gooey mess all day.

HOWEVER, God is good, and he allowed me to stumble upon an adoption blog this afternoon that messed me up in an entirely different direction! If you want to be inspired (and challenged!) by a beautiful 21-year-old girl who left the comforts of an affluent life in Tennessee to pour her life into Ugandan children (she has now "adopted" 12 girls with whom she lives there in Uganda, and she has started an AMAZING non-profit organization to provide food and an education to the poorest kids...), then check out

Holi-moli, I am in awe of this girl! The maturity and insight with which she shares her heart for her kids and her ministry is unbelievable. If only I could have 1/10 the heart and courage she has. Wow!!!!


  1. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


  2. Hey Rachel. Though I can't say I know how you feel, I do know a lot of people with similar stories. In fact, one of the ladies from my small group shared how she took out a second mortgage on her house to get pregnant with her first baby when she was in her 30s. Now that she's in her 40s, her Dr. said her hormone levels were optimal for conceiving. (Def. not in her plans tho). I know that God has some amazing things in store. Glad I can at least read along now that I'm not there anymore.

  3. Oh, Rachel... I'm so sorry! I know I'm just coming in on the tail end of what you've been going through, but I can see it has been a difficult journey through a LOT of emotions. Truthfully, I cannot relate at all to the need/desire to be pregnant yet - I'm dealing with the totally opposite issue of really being turned off of motherhood. (Another story for another time and one that God will work through me as He does with everything.) But I do totally get your struggle on another level - and my heart breaks for you. It's SO HARD to want something - something that is holy and good and RIGHT, something you KNOW you would use for God's glory in your life - and then find that God is saying either "wait" or "no." I wish we understood His ways better when it comes to these things, but then I suppose we might not turn to Him daily for strength, purpose, and direction if we always got what WE wanted when we wanted it. :) I will pray for you - and I'm so touched by the fact that you are willing to adopt - God must have the perfect child already picked out for your home and I can't wait to meet/see/learn about him or her. Be lifted up today, friend, and see how God is using you (and wants to keep using you) in new ways (beyond motherhood) right now. Hugs.

  4. That is an awesome story of the girl! We too went through years of infertility and after having our 5 kids (all but one with "help")we are now adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia-check out our blog:

  5. Thanks guys!
    It's been so cool becoming more and more aware of everyone out there on their own journeys! How encouraging!

  6. Hello,
    You don't know me. I stumbled acrossed your blog through mutual friends the Taylors. I just want encourage you... my husband and I have tried for years to get pregnant and gone through infertility testing. I could relate to everything you said! But, I'm thrilled to say through all that heartache God lead us to adopt. We have a beautiful daughter and hope God will bless us with more! Feel free to email me, if you would like to chat more.